Pinch me, please...

Did that REALLY just happen?
Did he REALLY just say that?
Pinch me, please...  I must be in an amusing dream.

Just a few things that have happened recently... 

The other day I brought Leonardo with me to the grocery store.  I am at the checkout talking to the cashier and vaguely hear a conversation between Leonardo and a young lady in her early 20s.  This is the only part that I caught:

Leonardo:  Look!  I have on green underwear!!!
*Hearing this statement, I look over...  just in time to see his pants drop around his ankles.  The girl looks at me and laughs.*
Random girl at grocery store:  That just made my day!

In the car one evening, a Nirvana song comes on the radio...
Me:  Oh!  Good song!  Can youuu sayyy, "Nir-va-na"?
Gavin:  I can.  But I don't want to.

About a year or so ago, I wondered why my boys weren't participating when Dora, Diego, and the Gabba gang asked them questions.  So one day to try to show them it can be fun to learn and participate with their favorite shows, I was answering the television in hopes that they would join me.
Gavin:  Mom, they can't hear you.
Me:  *stupidly* oh.


Ever since the kids saw the episode of Wow Wow Wubbzy where Wubbzy catches a butterfly and names him Norm, we have had numerous "incidents".

the dumbest:  They INSIST that I can't dump the water out of all of those cups because Norm needs to live in water.  Norm being different fake rubber lizards and snakes and frogs.  Yes, they are ALL named Norm.

the saddest:  While visiting the family in St. Louis, Leonardo and Gavin are playing outside with my dad (PaPa) when they excitedly run in yelling about Norm.  Leonardo is holding a butterfly that he caught. 

Me:  Daaaaaad!!!  Why?  Why?  He's killing him!  Why would you let him carry it inside?  
*side note...  at this point I have a newborn and still very hormonal*
PaPa:  Uhhhh...  actually, I was really impressed that he caught it.

the weirdest, by far:  Gavin has recently realized his affection for a fly in our house that he has named...  wait for it...  wait...  Norm.  I know, it's shocking.  That is not the strange part, though.  Here are some things that have been heard around the house.

Me:  *swatting at the fly*  Would you get away from me?  *frustrated sounds*
Gavin:  Norm's a good boy!

Let me interject here and say that I believe this fly thinks he is our dog.  He has absolutely NO respect for personal space, and he walks around on our carpet.  Oh, and I'm pretty sure he's planning on staying here for awhile because recently he has invited a friend to stay with us.

*Norm lands on Gavin's head*
Gavin:  Awwwww...  Norm's giving me a hug!

*I am desperately trying to remove Norm from the house without killing my son's pet*
Me:  Why won't Norm just get out?  Go outside!
Gavin:  Oh no, Mom.  *in a tone like he is my teacher and I am confused about the rules of life*  Norm can live wherever he wants.  He can live inside.  He can live outside.  He wants to live inside right now so this is where he is living.

awesome. 
oh, yeah...  and he feeds Norm AND Norm's friend (Norm) Cheetos.  Because "they like them".

Toddlers being deceitful? Check.

Toddlers being deceitful?  CHECK.

Today I was laying in bed feeding the baby when I heard noises from the hallway.  Leonardo was on his way out of our room so I decided to give him a task.

Me:  Leonardo, on your way to the living room, could you tell Gavin that I know he is trying to get my umbrella from the top of the closet and that if he is successful, I am going to spank him with it?  **side note...  there was no way that (a) Leo would really turn against Gavin for my benefit, (b) that I would really do what I said, and (c) that they actually would believe that I would do what I said.

*Leonardo leaves the room and this is the conversation that I hear*
Leonardo:  Hey Gav.  What are you doing?
Gavin:  Making a step ladder.
Leonardo:  Do you need a spotter?

that went well.

Aside from what I will refer to as "in your face" deceit, there is a different kind when toddlers are around.  The sneaky behind-your-back surprises are the ones that really get you when they are discovered...  and sometimes it takes awhile to uncover these kind. 

Today I was doing laundry and I found a couple dollars in a pants pocket...  SCORE!  Later on I am taking my millionth (okay, okay...  it was only my sixth) load out of the washer and I smelled something nasty.  *sniff sniff*  what's that *sniff sniff* smells like *sniff* elephant poop at the circus or *sniff* horse poop, cow manure *sniff* Where is that coming from???  I will tell you where:  my clean clothes.  Right smack dab next to all of that (what should have been) cleanliness, stuck to the side of the washer was the most glistening turd I have ever had the privilege to lay eyes on.  Awesome.  So here are the two points of my story:  (1) After re-washing that load, I have maintained a fifty cent profit from my pants pocket treasure.  (2) You probably shouldn't borrow clothes from us.

The art of patience...

The art of patience... 

This week has been funny because both Leonardo and Gavin have said something to each of us regarding patience.  Both had similar views, apparently. 

11/2/11

Me:  Get in bed!  I am running out of patience!!!
Leonardo:  You don't have any patience?
Me:  No.
Leonardo:  *makes a throwing gesture*  Here's your patience!!!  Take them!
Me:  *laughing*  Oh, there's my patience, huh?
Leonardo:  *sheepishly*  Yeah...  sometimes i take them...

11/3/11  (side note...  you might recognize a pattern here.  hahaha)

Rodrigo:  Get in bed!  I don't have patience like your mom.  I'm not your mom.  I have no patience.
Gavin:  *surprised*  Oh!!!  Here, dad, you can borrow some of mine.


So here is my realization about this:  both times that I heard this, it made me laugh.  I was lightened, happy, and full of love for these toddler monkey boys.  So I guess they DID give them to me, loan them, or whatever they decide to call it tomorrow night...  when they won't go to bed again.